Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
