I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
