I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
