Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
