Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
