Soap is not a condiment
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
