i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
