I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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