I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm bleeding and have questions
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
