let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
