I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
