he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
