So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
