I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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