Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
