So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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