I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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