any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I am naked and annoyed.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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