Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
