Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
