White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I pour the whiskey from now on
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
