Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
