just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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