This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize
