i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
