I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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