"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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