therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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