At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
