Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
