What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize