I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
