He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
