just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
