Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
