no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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