i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
