we have officially lost it.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
