they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
