I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
