Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Drunk is a universal language darling
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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