The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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