Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
