i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
