Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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