I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
