While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize