There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
