He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
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