Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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