his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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