I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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