you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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