well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
