hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
