Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
