He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
