Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
