OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
