At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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